Welcome to kick-exaltingFPSAnger Foot.
Violence is brutal and cartoonish.
Slight mistakes kill you instantly.
Similarly, its also a bit of a masochistic ordeal to put yourself through.
Hoover up his pistol - five shots, make em count - boot the next door.
You spray and kick wildly, strafing like a mad crab.
Lob it for a stun.
May as well kick again, just to be safe.
you’re able to hold the kick key down for a never-ending chain if you want.
Lurking behind a door frame and booting a procession of goons as they rampage through is a premiere strategy.
Its cowardly, of course.
But if Anger Foot taught me one thing, its to take advantages where I can find them.
It often feels like playing poker, me and the game raising each other surging stacks of cheeky bullshit.
And my god, does this game wallow in cheeky bullshit.
Don’t ask if there’s a goon behind you.
When you die, the room of goons start dancing.
You dont win in Anger Foot.
It doesnt kill you.
The short answer is a resounding yup.
One enemy throws live snakes at you from a bucket.
Another is an armoured bear with a minigun.
Theres four of those maps in total, each run by a different gang.
The business gang populate a glitzy high-rise, etcetera.
I know you care, Free Lives.
You cant pretend you dont.
You definitely care about replayability.
Each stage (63) takes between one and three minutes.
Feet only is a common one, as are time limits, and wearing a specific pair of shoes.
There are 23 pairs in total.
Spoke the one-footed man: half of these shoes feel pointless.
Dont get me wrong, Im glad they exist.
Its hard to complain about desert boots that activate big head mode, or a double jump.
Or the throws are deadly but bullets only stun Stilettos.
I get five bullets a pistol and one throw.
I’m well into my thirties now.
Practical shoes are how I like to party.
Something for your second or third run, then.
Youre going to spend most of it feeling too backed into a corner to really let loose.
Herein lies the tension: a disempowerment ruleset wearing a fresh pair of power fantasies.
Spoke the punter at the piss-bucket juggling show: I do not envy this balancing act.
Hotline Miami remedied this in minor and major ways.
Checkpoints were one, as was the extra visibility granted by the isometric viewpoint.
But I think the biggest culprit here is actually the most subtle.
It takes 3 seconds in Anger Foot between dying and the restart key prompt to appear.
Hotline Miami takes 1 second.
Once for each goon.
They do different dances.
Still, Anger Foot gets its most important balancing act right.
Sure, doors are always fun to boot, and need booting besides.
Those pinkies have utility, too.
Booting grenades back at goons, or hoofing explosive barrels.
Also, you’ve heard that soundtrack, right?
Substance isn’t always necessary.
Those doors were substantial, and you saw what happened to them, didnt you?
Sometimes what Anger Foot does offer is worse than nothing, mind.
The concept for the final boss (unholy corpulence') is effectively lol, fat.
Youre funnier than that, mates.
I know you are because Ive just played your game.
He keeps trying to knock you into a pool of molten cheese, but this is weak sauce.
