Yes, I washed my hands afterward.
Ah, but after which?
A man needs to maintain standards during his on-the-hour, every-hour wank-athon spectacular.
Am I the wanker, or simply the unseen force that compels the wank?
Truthfully, I only actually had one wank.
A blank word document and an internet that only contains porn.
Ill tell you about the break-in, but nothing else.
I walked into my lounge and a strange bloke was sitting in my favourite sandwich chair.
He got angry at me about a thing I wont spoil, headbutted me, then left.
A friend came over last night and we ate a pizza together.
Now the remains of the pizza are scattered over the kitchen floor.
I picked up an embittered, stolid slice and chewed upon its congealed bounty pensively.
I put the plants back first.
It felt right, as if they were the most wronged by the event.
Obviously, I put on some tidying music.
It makes for a vibe Id best describe as ‘cosy agoraphobia’, which Im personally very acquainted with.
I collapsed on the sofa after I’d finished tidying.
I think the television just shows the same view from your window.
A man cant wank over that, I tell you.
Apartment Story isout now on Steam.
