Bamboozled
Assassin’s Creed is for magpies.
They are “while we’re here” games.
In town to kill a guy who dishonored your family?
OK, but there’s a viewpoint nearby, so let’s go while we’re here.
Better murder everyone and steal their rocks (while we’re here).
Assassin’s Creed Shadowsis another marathon of distraction.
Its beauty lies in details.
The robes of powerful daimyo flap as they cross their arms, the silk shining in moonlight.
Zen monks recite the Heart Sutra on mats outside temples.
These sights and sounds are accompanied by a rote and often humourless revenge story.
You play the first few moments of the game as this hulking bruiser with a sorrowful heart.
It’s frustrating, but at least it keeps you playing just to see Yasuke again.
They are sometimes painful hours.
Every scene seems to last twice as long as necessary.
This is not a problem unique to Assassin’s Creed - it is a perennial video game curse.
It’s not all so dry.
I made snide remarks to the catty guests.
I wore an unfashionable kosode.
I turned the tea bowl the wrong direction.
It was a disaster, and more interesting for it.
But how does it feel in your grubby thumbs?
These are endlessly gratifying to perform.
Climbing upward in an AssCreed game has looked slick for nearly two decades.
But this is the first time I’ve considered climbing down just as stylish.
Combat is another matter, and it really depends how you like your action games.
I found it hard to establish a suitable battle rapport with the enemies that often cluster around you.
Sometimes, you just want to behead a dude in two swift hits.
It suffers more transparently when fights break out in tight interiors.
This is dramatic and fitting to his persona as a cunning daimyo, but an irksome battle.
Classic warning indicators help out, but as always they’re a crutch for true spatial awareness.
Both characters get a spread of weapons.
They are a cheap and cheerful means of getting a kick.
Quite literally - Yasuke is the proud inheritor of the powerful Assassin’s Creed megahoof.
Loud fight coming up?
Put the big lad in, coach.
I know the girl for that.
In which case, I’m delighted for you.
I cannot stress enough how gorgeous this game can sometimes be.
Yes, this is a game about seeing a distant temple and thinking “I can go there”.
Can’t crack that level 30 nut with a level 24 toffee hammer.
Still, you’ll probably need to take that time to collect materials for your hideout.
There are sumi-e paintings to unlock, cherry blossoms, fancy European parasols, nice looking rocks with moss.
None of this sounds exciting but it will be.
It was satisfying to walk through my work almost immediately.
And that’s really it.
The setting will largely dictate whether or not it speaks to you.
I found it more appealing than the other big Creeds of recent times.
That simply comes down to being more into Islamic architecture than Greek myths or Viking longboats.
I’m glad I went on another trip.
This review is based on a review build provided by the publisher.
