Plus: new weapon balance tables!
A huge scary bearded man has just kicked down my door.
His face and shoulders are doused in tactical Dorito dust.

His eyes are heavily redacted.
The new ActivisionFPSisout tomorrow 25th October, I gather.
Here’s what that patch involves, in nickel-plated bulletpoint form.
-They’ve been fiddling around with the aim assists.
We will of course continue to monitor and assess data and player feedback."
-They’ve made stealthy tweaks to the map furniture.
-They’ve beefed up the anticheat.
“Machine-learning behavioral systems deployed to increase speed of detection,” he continues, weeping uncontrollably.
“Machine-learning detection models added to analyze gameplay combating aim bots.”
Hang on, let me pour him a hearty restorative cherryade.
-They’re taking a new approach to visualising weapon balance changes.
I wonder if there’s scope for some nice, biggraphshere, Treyarch.
Perhaps it would make for less toxicity in the community?
Perhaps if there’s less toxicity, Call Of Duty Man will stop chewing on my ankle?
(Find the full patch notes here.)