Does it rock, is it rocky, or is it plain rockay?
The other two - the bulk of the game - weren’t playable.
Still, what I did play was simplistic fun that valued chaos over stealth, with middling results.
The game has three modes: Baker’s Battle, Crime Time, and Urban Legends.
I played roughly two hours of Urban Legends the least important of the bunch, it turns out.
Crime Time, seemingly, will help you outrun the lad.
You’re not getting much story here, which is fine!
All you unlock here are further “mini-campaigns” and teammates for Crime Time.
Again, this is fine by me.
When you party up with mates, you get to select a character first.
Most look like they’ve modeled themselves on the 3rd Street Saints.
I opted for the brick, because it emanated strong immersive sim energy.
Crime Boss isn’t an immersive sim.
Others were simplified variants.
Get into a warehouse, stuff jewels into bags, then get back to the van.
One saw us kill a gang leader, then run back to the van.
The van is a staple: crime doesn’t happen if you don’t chuck bags into a van.
To each their own, but for me, chaos is the least interesting part of a heist.
Get spotted by a baddie?
Ha, get absolutely fucked!
That’s everyone on the map alerted to your presence for the entire duration of the mission!
Stealth might be an option, but Urban Legends doesn’t seem to support it all that well.
And it’s not like Crime Boss nails the fundamentals, either.
Shooting is aggressively fine, with AI that’s about as intelligent as a swarm of krill.
If you go down, chances are you’ve been outnumbered, not outsmarted.
I think I could’ve bought some new guns?
Maybe some new characters with more lives and stronger guns?
To really get a sense of Crime Boss, I need to see its other main modes.
