Five giant companies have built themselves a WWE-style deathgame in which warriors vie for fame and trinkets.
Self-awareness dusts the proceedings like dandruff.
The topmost audience hype level is “yaaaaaas”.
Ah, I could have been a serious contender in the world of education you know.
It was a school in Croydon and I was the runner-up.
The children gazed upon me with awe and respect.
Nowadays, they just send me death threats over Twitter.
King Of Meat’s satire is all gums.
Do not join the dots between the punchlines.
It was like boarding a rollercoaster only to be ordered to dismount every 50 metres to buy some plushies.
I might feel better about King Of Meat if the hands-on event itself had been a little less Hype.
Still, allowances should definitely be made here for my advancing years and increasingly resentful state of mind.
Certainly not for the act of looting dungeons.
I think I have literally shed and excreted whatever gland it is that produces excitement about loot.
And while I do occasionally find jokes about burping funny, the delivery has to be immaculate.
King Of Meat, then: probably not going to wishlist.
King Of Meat is onSteamand has no release date just yet.
